It was one of the most amazing things I’ve done, an experience that I am still not able to interpret adequately.
Taken to a meditative place near Cusco, Peru, noble silence was a must during the whole experience in the retreat center;
Being all alone with my thoughts for such a long time was unfamiliar for me until that point of time.
I can not explain the phenomenon of how the house changed in my perspective when the night would come eventually after a long day of praying and meditating.
It was like it would become haunted by weird spirits (not mean spirits; just unusual for my senses).
I didn’t know the story of each participant on the ceremony and reasons why they came that way to Peru, we did not have the time to introduce each other, not even on a basic level.
I just knew that nothing seemed intrinsically the way it appeared at first.
After I drank the glass that I’ve been given by the shaman I immediately started feeling different, in a kind of a scary way, like I was loosing control of my body. I could not feel my arms anymore, I could only feel I was suffocating by a huge snake around my waist.
Vomiting impulse came faster than I expected. Massively.
All kinds of geometrical shapes, figures and lines came in front of my eyes in all possible colors – light and vivid at first, then suddenly turned to black and grayish.
The room seemed to me like an enormous ship; people on board – lost souls whining for their bright future and lost dreams, sailing on the waves of life.
Everyone had their own story going on – crying, begging, suffering, growling, roaring from every angle of that room. Everyone in a kind of a pain that was continuing for ages.
I felt insecure and fragile from the scenes that were unfolding in front of my eyes and in my head, I wished it stopped, that all evil spirits would just disappear and leave me alone.
I felt tired and lonely; scared.
Wanted to go to bed and rest.
After a while it all stopped and I could see the world clear as I did before. Eventually. Then I fell asleep.